Lies uncovered -
This is my new, much needed addition to the blog.
I'm sick of all the P.R pumping of crap venues, I'm standing up for the people! In-particular the misinformed tourist's visiting London.Put your Time Out magazine in the bin!!! Stop reading all the drivel these PR managed web pages are shoving down your throat. I vow to never to paid off to suck the ass of the people of the industry.
Of course everyone has their different opinions, but at least here you can trust an honest one.
I will begin with a post I read in Timeout last week, it had a feature on Vauxhall informing us of why we should all go there.
Ranking 29th on the poll of most polluted roads in the UK (and that poll was done before they demolished a Sainsburys superstore and began building the American embassy I'm sure). Vauxhall the forgotten shit tip has lots more to offer than pollution don't you worry, there's also plenty criminal activity to keep you amused too.
Vauxhall residents won't be shocked to see men in butt- less chaps at 8am when the clubs kick out and there is always plenty of wide eyed teenagers roaming the streets looking confused and ashamed on your Monday morning commute into work , I must admit that dig was partly jealously.. I'm going to work - they are still getting nutted.But still.Shocking.
Put this all aside folks, we always have Brunswick house in which we can hide away from all the madness and black dust of Vauxhall. Try a crappy cocktail for a mere £10.00 or just just go in for the treat of Brunswick house signature scent, it smells like an old Pig and not in a pork scratching way, more so in a abandoned abattoir way.
I must note the last time I went was last year, hopefully its all different, smells nice and the twerp that made me a cocktail with slobby egg white in has been booted out for good.
So if crap cocktails. aren't your thing you can always head on to the strip of old local- yokel Italian andTurkish restaurants under the arches.Where you are not really welcome unless you're one of them, like old country pubs where they look at you funny as you walk other the theshold.They know you're new without even turning around to look at you. They smell the freshness.
I visited one of the Italian restaurants once, I wont mention names... I had vinegar wine and some melon with Parma ham which was pleasant but the pervy customers were not. Its like being transported back to Italy in the 1950's, you know, where a dame shouldn't be dining alone..., I must say they did all look pretty gangsta in that pretend Ive watched all the Sopranos but haven't been home to Italy in 25 years sort of way. Not selling it to ya? Well you could always head to Aqua on the Thames front where I once ... wait for it.... had a pube in my cabonara!!! YES! that was the best! What a treat, I even had to chase the waiter to get him to talk to me, yes, with the pubey pasta in hand. So got some much needed exercise that day too! Bonus!
I am in all fairness being a complete negative Nigel here, so Ill lighten this up with a few good things about Vauxhall, to start the gyms good on St Georges wharf. Although be warned if you keep leaving your shit in the locker they will put it all in a bin liner to be collected, I give up after the third bag.
I know this makes me sound like a cock but there's a brilliant little fruit and veg stall inside the train station that sells seasonal fruit and veg and its cheaper than the supermarket, grab some fruit and some snacks from the shop and head to the Thames for a great view of parliament for a more peaceful area than further-down the river at Southbank. Also the Young's pub which is called Riverside (on St Georges wharf) is actually quite nice for a chain pub the staff are lovely and the grubs not bad. Good wine too, and outdoor seating. Be warned they let people reserve the outside tables so on a sunny day at 5pm you may struggle so beat them to the punch and reserve one yourself. Oh and the transport is great.(I'd still advise not listening to estate agents )That really is it though.Positives done, forgive me if I've missed something.
I appreciate I am leaving myself open for abuse from loyal residents and business owners in Vauxhall here however I have lived and worked in Vauxhall and this is my experience. I don't wish to offend anyone, Sorry Vauxhall, but Timeout's Vauxhall was just more PR Pinocchio.